Through the years David and I have talked about death and dying. This is not morbid but looking honestly at what comes to all of us. We have expressed a desire to “die well”. By this I mean honoring the Lord and accepting His will in whatever way He plans for us to leave this life. My dear, dear, husband is dying well.
David never once has questioned God in all of this. He has accepted this cancer as His plan. From the beginning we have prayed for healing, but always submitting our will to God who knows so much better than us what He is doing. David’s greatest desire has been for God to be glorified in his life. I believe He is.
Not quite two years ago David took a weekend and walked a section of the Appalachian Trail with a friend. You have to be somewhat in shape physically to do that. He loved it and wanted to do more. He was faithful to walk on the treadmill to stay in shape, to be prepared for the “next time”.
David loved looking at the stars in the night sky. He has a telescope and on cold nights he would get out on our deck and look at the stars. They would set his mind soaring on the Creator.
Since David was 6 years old he has played the piano. God has used his gift in many ways through the years. He has written worship songs in English and Wolof. He has taught hundreds of children to play the piano. He has lead worship in several churches. How he has filled our home with beautiful music! I could sit and listen to him for hours.
He would daily spend time reading the Word of God and always had three or four other books on his night stand that he was reading through; Christian, comics, and astronomy to physics.
He has read book after book, gone for walks, built fires, and had races in the backyard with the grandchildren, loving to hear those voices say, “Do it again, granddaddy!”
Now he is unable to do any of these things. He lies in his bed unable to even roll over on his own, much less walk or run. He has lost most of his sight so he is unable to read or look at the stars. He no longer can sit at the piano and worship the Lord through his music. He is unable to play with his grandchildren or read to them. BUT…
lying in his bed he is SHOUTING his faith in the God he loves and has trusted all these years. He trusts Him to take him all the way home and NEVER the first complaint over what he has lost or what he can no longer do. His gaze is fixed on what he is gaining.
How I love this man. Even in dying he is teaching me about faith and trust.
David never once has questioned God in all of this. He has accepted this cancer as His plan. From the beginning we have prayed for healing, but always submitting our will to God who knows so much better than us what He is doing. David’s greatest desire has been for God to be glorified in his life. I believe He is.
Not quite two years ago David took a weekend and walked a section of the Appalachian Trail with a friend. You have to be somewhat in shape physically to do that. He loved it and wanted to do more. He was faithful to walk on the treadmill to stay in shape, to be prepared for the “next time”.
David loved looking at the stars in the night sky. He has a telescope and on cold nights he would get out on our deck and look at the stars. They would set his mind soaring on the Creator.
Since David was 6 years old he has played the piano. God has used his gift in many ways through the years. He has written worship songs in English and Wolof. He has taught hundreds of children to play the piano. He has lead worship in several churches. How he has filled our home with beautiful music! I could sit and listen to him for hours.
He would daily spend time reading the Word of God and always had three or four other books on his night stand that he was reading through; Christian, comics, and astronomy to physics.
He has read book after book, gone for walks, built fires, and had races in the backyard with the grandchildren, loving to hear those voices say, “Do it again, granddaddy!”
Now he is unable to do any of these things. He lies in his bed unable to even roll over on his own, much less walk or run. He has lost most of his sight so he is unable to read or look at the stars. He no longer can sit at the piano and worship the Lord through his music. He is unable to play with his grandchildren or read to them. BUT…
lying in his bed he is SHOUTING his faith in the God he loves and has trusted all these years. He trusts Him to take him all the way home and NEVER the first complaint over what he has lost or what he can no longer do. His gaze is fixed on what he is gaining.
How I love this man. Even in dying he is teaching me about faith and trust.
Pam
“Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.” Hebrews 11:16
“Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.” Hebrews 11:16
10 comments:
Thank you, Pam.
Then I looked, and I heard around the throne and the living creatures and the elders the voice of many angels, numbering myriads of myriads and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice, "Worthy is the Lamb who was slain, to receive power and wealth and wisdom and might and honor and glory and blessing!" And I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and in the sea, and all that is in them, saying, "To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever!" [Rev 5:11-13]
"Won't it be glorious?" David said this to me just this morning. Pam
As John and I are approaching our first anniversary we have been talking a lot about our wedding a year ago. The one thing that stands out to both John and is the music. That part was our favorite. We loved it. We have been so blessed by Mr. Carson. He is leaving us with the most precious memories including...but not limited to...contadas, Christmas skits, some very animated singing practices and OH...five day clubs!!!! Praise God for David.
In Exile
I am an exile, a sojourner
A citizen of some other place
All I've seen is just a glimmer in just a shadowy mirror
But I know one day we'll see face to face
I am a nomad, a wanderer
I have nowhere to lay my head down
There's no point in putting roots to deep when I'm moving on
Not settling for this unsettling town
My heart is filled with songs of forever
A city that endures, where all is made new
And no I don't belong here
I'll never call this place my home
I'm just passing through
I am a pilgrim, a voyager
I won't rest until my lips touch the shore
Of the land that I've been longing for as long as I've lived
Where there'll be no pain or tears anymore
We love you both--Jenny & Donald
Oh my....! You hear so much about Living Well but to Die Well is something completely different. Mr. C has touched our lives in so many ways we cannot even start to count. But, I can honestly say the night we sang to him with the Praise Team while he was in his bed having every right as this world would see it to curse his Maker, but instead he chose to raise his hands in Praise to Worship Him. It is a time I will never forget. We love you both.
Martha & Mike
Pam and David,
You all have been in our thoughts and prayers. I was glad to find a way to keep up to date with you and David. I call Jeff and Sara Ann from time to time, but now I feel like I am having a distant conversation with you. We love you --
You are in our thoughts and prayers, we hold Mr. C in such high regard, will always treasure the days he was our minister and cherish my autographed book that he wrote! Thank you for keeping this blog so we can be kept updated on his journey.
Debbie & Jim Dillard
Thank you everyone for all of your kind words, thoughts and prayers! God has used you to bless and encourage us. You are helping to ease the journey. We love you!
We haven't known you for long but you and David's deep relationship with the Lord and testimony has impacted us greatly. I have never seen such a living faith in action. Our God is an AWESOME God!
Holy Spirit, faithful Guide, ever near the Christian’s side;
Gently lead us by the hand, pilgrims in a desert land.
Weary souls fore’er rejoice, while they hear that sweetest voice,
Whispering softly, “Wanderer, come, follow Me, I’ll guide thee home.”
Ever present, truest Friend, ever near Thine aid to lend,
Leave us not to doubt and fear, groping on in darkness drear.
When the storms are raging sore, hearts grow faint and hopes give o’er.
Whispering softly, “Wanderer, come, follow Me, I’ll guide thee home.”
When our days of toil cease, waiting still for sweet release,
Nothing left but heaven and prayer, wondering if our names are there;
Wading deep the dismal flood, pleading naught but Jesus’ blood,
Whispering softly, “Wanderer, come, follow Me, I’ll guide thee home.”
Words by Marcus M. Wells (1858)
You were on our minds and in our prayers as we planned for the Ladies' Retreat last night. Jenny D.
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